How to Anoy Your Favoret Charectors
by SwordMasterZ
Summary: Disclamor I own Nothing How do you annoy your favorite Characters ?Find out
1. Chapter 1

Ways to anoy Your Favorey Chsrectors

Ways to anoy Your Favorey Chsrectors

**Vader **

1. Tell him that Blsck went out ten years ago

2. Tell him That Padma was Cheating on him With Obie-Wan Kanobie.

3. Pant his Star destroyer pink

Take photos of said pink Star Destroyer and have Luke Skywalker Post them on the holonet

4. Tell him Han Solo is dating his daughter

5. when he gets angry at this imitate Yoda and give him a lecture how Anger is of the Dark Side.

6. Have Luke Challenge him to a Star fighter Race then When Vader isn't looking replace his engine with a piñata.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

C3po

Tell him that the Skywalker family always liked R2 better then him.

Tell him Han got permission from his wife to Scrap him For parts.

Let the Solo Twins reprogram him to do stupid things.

Tell him Who Built him.

Next time he complains on a mission tell him to implant a spine.

Have Luke take him apart then have R2 Put peaces of him all over the galaxy.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own star wars I an Just borrowing it

Disclaimer: I don't own star wars I an Just borrowing it

A/N I've been asked to do more of these so.

Author: Han Solo Step forward.

Han Solo: What Chewie !!1

Author: Oh the big walking carpet I'm shaking didn't your mother teach you not to try to intimidate women especially one who is in controls of your dignity.

Han Solo: Mommy!

Author: Laughs Manically

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Han Solo

Tell him Luke Skywalker is a much better Pilot and he could beet you in a race blind folded.

Tell him Leia is cheating on him with Lando.

Have C3PO fallow him around and tell him the odds of having him and Leia getting married are.

Tell him if Leia's father is going to kill him if he sees him with her agene. If he asks which one say both of them.

Tell him you had the Falcon scraped for parts.

Dye his hair pink well he's sleeping

Put the Photos on you tube.

Steel Luke's lightesaber and tell him Han took it When Luke confronts Han about it record it in the of chance blood.

A/N NExt Victom Yoda Step forward


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: same as always

Disclaimer: same as always

Yoda Step forward.

Yoda: Do This You can not!

Author: I can and I Will!!

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When Yoda speaks semi- Backwards tell him you had no Idea what he just said.

Tell Him to see a speech therapist.

Suggest to Obi-Wan that it might be fun if he and the other masters go to Six flags for the day then laugh at Yoda when he can't get on supper Man or any of the other Roller costars do to his Height or (should I say lack there or)

Tell him that he looks like one of Santa's elves with those big pointed ears.

Place something he needs on a high shelf then Jedi proof the room so he can't use the Force.

When he starts to cry go up to him and say What's the matter Shorty?

Take the Sith holocron out of the arkives Then plant it on Anakin. (This has the added fun of getting Anakin in Traubel.

Tell Yoda that Mace is replacing him as Head of the Jedi Council.

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Auther: My next victim will be. "Emperor Palpatine Step forward"

Emperor: I'll have you Executed for this Woman.

Author: Plan to do it your self? Vader is still crying over what I did to him. and Mara Jade is too busy trying to find my note book so I can't torment her once I'M done with You.

Emperor : Gerr

Author: The all powerful writer wins agene. ( Smirk)

A/N for those of You who are Pirates of the Caribbean fans I'M working on a Pirates Van Helsing cross over Reed it and tell me what you think.

P.S. It's Under POTC Not Van Helsing or just click on my Pen Name.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 5

Author: Emperor Palpatien step forward.

Emperor: I'll get you for this

Author: You need to find me first and I'm not even in your galaxy Ha ha

1. Ask him if he is so powerful why does he need Vader to do all the hard work.

2. Tell him Vader and Mara have decided to join the Rebellion because they pay better

3. Ask him if he is going to try out for the Christmas pageant in six months because he looks like he has the ghost of Christmas future down.

4. When you see him coming scream at the top of your longs that the grim reaper is coming. ( on second thought don't he might find this one funny)

5. Call the Morgue and tell them one of their bodies escaped next time the emperor falls asleep on his thrown

6. After doing five convince Vader to pull the sheaving cream gag on him well he's asleep.

7. Dye all his black robes sun Shine Yellow( enough said.)

8.Tell him Mara Jade did not kill Luke Skywalker because she was on a date.

9. If he asks who she was on a date with show him a photo of Luke and Mara Kissing, long and hard. ( This may also have the added fun of annoying the above mentioned couple.)

10. Tell Vader that the Emperor is the one trying to kill Luke. Then video tape Vader beating the emperor up and put the Video on YouTube.

**Run!!**

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Author: Mara Jade step forward

Mara: Make me

Author: You know That photo of you and Luke is not the only one I have, how would you like Luke to see the ones of you cheating on him with Lando.

Mara: You wouldn't

Author: Would you bet your life on it?

Mara: Rates

A/N Sorry his Royal pane was harder to write then I thought.


	6. Chapter 6

6

6

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Author: Mara Jade step forward

Mara: found your notebook I see

Author: Did you really think R2D2 would actually keep your secrets

Mara: Oh Sith's blood I'll get you for this woman!

Auther: sticks out tong

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dye her hair platinum blond.

Ask her idf the dye job is a way of her admitting she is not as smart as she thinks she is. ( _A/N I have nothing against those of you with blond hair_)

Tell her that the Emperor knows that she has been sneaking around with Luke Skywalker.

Tell her Luke knows she has been cheating on him with Lando.

Tell her Luke is braking up with her.

Dye all her close orange and then say now come on Mara we all know that green is not your color.

Put a snake in her bed and blame it on Jana

Tell her she has been kicked out of the Jedi ( _A/N: This is from the extended universes) _

Hide all her weapons ( this will also keep her from killing you)

Force her to listen to the Back street Boys over and over agene.

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Author: Padma your up

Padma: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


	7. Chapter 7

7

7.

Disclaimer: Do I need to say it I own nothing Unfortanetly.

Author: Padma step forward

Padma: Ani Help me

Author: He is im pieces right naw but maybe Yoyur kids can stop me. On second thought no they can't

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Tell who her husband is a Murderer

tell her that the Ringling Brothers called the clowns want their make up back

Tell her her kids are having abandonment issues.

Tell her Yoda has a crush on her

Tell her Anaken is cheating on her with her hand made

Blame her for the fall of the Republic.

Tell her her husband is having an affair with Obi- wan

Videotape her reaction and post it on youtube

pute green food coloring in her face make up

Dye her hair blue well she is sleeping

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Author: Aren't I terrible? Obi-wan it's your turn

Obi-wan: Can we talk about this?

Author: No


	8. Chapter 8

Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan

Author: Obi-wan step forward

Obi- wan (steps forward no argument.

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1. tell him his master played favorites with Anakin

2. tell him he and Anakin are going for a nice quit flight in his air speeder then pay Anakin to drive as fast as the speeder can possibly go. ( on second thought no need to pay Anakin to drive over the speed limit)

3.shave his head well he's asleep

4.blame it on Anakin

5.Tell him its his fault Anakin turned to the dark side.

6.write him fake love letters from padma

7.dye his clothes purple

8.Have Luke take his light saber apart and put the pieces all over the place

9.Have a party and don't invite him

10.Ask him if he is such a great negotiator how come he could not talk the Author of this fanfic out of making fun of him

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Author: Luke Skywalker step forward

Luke: Do your worst

Author: Don't worry I will

_A/n I know I did one for Vader already but I was thinking of doing one for Anakin Skywalker too. You know treat the two sides of his personality the Jedi and the sith as two separate people seeing as they kind of are. Te_ll _me what you think_.


	9. Chapter 9

Luke Skywalker

Luke Skywalker

Author: Luke your up

Luke: Never !

Author: Try and stop me

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Ask him how it feels to know he had a crush on his sister.

when he is wearing black have his aunt tell him you look just like your father did at eighteen ( this one works best after empire)

When he is meditating stand behind him and sing "this is the song that never ends"

If he gets irritated remind him that anger is the path to the dark side.

Ask him if a bad temper is a Skywalker family trait.

Dye his hair black

when he's asleep cover his face in Goth makeup.

Ask him if he has finally lost it when every one sees his new Goth look

Tell him Mara Jade is cheating on him with Lando

past really embarrassing Baby photos of him all over the place

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Author: Anakin Skywalker you're up that is unless of course you want your alter ego Vader to have another round of my abuse or maybe I'll tormant padma agene

Anakin: No I'll do any thing just don't torture padma agene

Author: And I thought the Emperor had an easy timw manipulating him

Anakin: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrr

Author: Padma, Padma, Padma

Anakin: Mom!!1

Author: evil laugh


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: own nothing

Recording of Author: Anakin Step forward

Anakin walks in " Your de-" Sees Recorder and runs off to look for evil Author

Anakin Skywalker

Replace all his leather and black clothes with outfits with little pink Bunnies all over them

Take a photo of him in said outfits and past them all over the Republic( Blame on the Chancier.)got you

Tell him a paternity test reviled that Obi-Wan is actually the father of Padma's twins

Tell Yoda about Anakin's Relationship with Padma then watch as the Council confronts Anakin about it

Tell Him Jar Jar is going to be his apprentice

when he gets his replacement hand ask him if he is trying to let every one know that he is technically C3PO's father

Tell him his pilots license has been suspended

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Author: "well Guys before Anakin finds me I'm going to tell you Mace is next"

Door Creeks open

Anakin: "Now I got you!"

Author: "No you don't" Force pushes Anakin across the room and uses a Purple lightsaber to Cut through the wall and Escape


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Own nothing

Mace Windu

Author: Well I finally ditched Anakin So Mace will you please step forward.

Mace: Grumbles

1 .Ask him how it feels that nobody believed him about Anakin

2. Ask him how it feels to be the least popular Master on the Jedi council

5.. Tell him Yoda Is replacing him as second in command with Obi-Wan

6. Fill his light Saber With Peanut Butter

7. Threaten to tell the entire temple that Mace Sleeps with his Baby Blanket.

8. Rig his door and windows to shock him when he enters the room.

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Author: Not My best work I'll admit But Leia is my next Victim so stay put

Leia: What ?!

Author: You herd me and your Brother Just gave me Your Diary so I'm going to go to town On This one.

Leia: No

Author: Yes!


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Still not he Master of the Star Wars Universe

Leia

Ask her how she feels being responsible for the destruction of an Entire planet

Tell Her Hon Dumped Her because he hates it when her hair looks like Sinamen Rolls.

Tell Her Hon has been Cheating on Her With her Brothers Wife( This May also Bug, Mara and Luke)

Ask her how it feels Knowing She made out with her Brother.

Give any existing Recording of that to The Holo News

Tell Her that you will tell her father about what she and Han did the other night.

If She asks you which one Say Both of them and put in that you have both Bail And Vader on Speed dial

Tell her Bail Vader and Luke Have Teamed Up to Kill Han (A/N Over protective Father over protective Brother)

Laugh evilly as Leia searches for her day planer which you have just sent through the paper shredder.

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Auher: Time to Vote people :Next Victem Qui-gon or Boba Fet?


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Still own Nothing

Qui-Gon Jinn

Author: Seeing as Qui-Gon Is not responding to my IM I'M Just going to start.

Poke fun at His last Name( Jinn) By asking him if his parents had a drinking problem.

Point out That is Technically his fault the Jedi Order Fell

If he asks How is it his fault simply answer "One word Anakin

Ask Him Why it took him About Ten Years to Master the whole Force Ghost thing ?

How he feels about his old Master Being a Sith

Constently point out Obi-Wan is smarter then him

Ask Him How the Hell he made it to Master With all The Mistakes he's Made

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Author:Boba Your up

Boba Fet: I'll Kill you for this

Author: Anakin, Mara, and Vader Failed at that I'm not to concerned


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Own nothing

Author: Sorry this took so long people I had to ditch a siren bounty hunter

Boba Fett: Swardmasterz I'll get you I always do

Author: "Drop dead" Force pushes Boba into the wall

BoBa Fett

Ask him what it is like knowing There are at least a half million other you's running around.

Ask him what it was like getting beet By a Blind Guy ( Han Was Temporary Blind in Jedi)

Tell Him all his weapons are all being confiscated.

Ask Him What the inside Of A Zarlack Stomach looks like.

Tell him The knew Jedi Order has put a bounty on his head because of all the jedi he killed for the empire.

Ask him If constantly Bumping his head gave him brain damage (A/N if you

noticed in the movie that was a trait picked up by all Jangose clones)

7. Point out The only reason he managed to capture Han Solo was Because Darth Vader Turned Said Smuggler into a giant Paper Whaight.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Do not own Just barrowing without asking with out asking but with every intention of returning .

Lando

Author: Lando you're up

Lando: What

Author: And here is the Best part Han sold me all the dirt he has on you

Lando's Jaw Drops

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Point out he has Bad Luck with Business

If he asks Show him all his Business ventures starting with Cloud City

Point out he has bad luck with women Then bring up his failed attemps with Leia and Mara

Make a fake videos of him with both Mara and Leia and show it to their husbands

Laugh Evilly as Han Beets the crap out of him well Luke uses the Force to Hold him in place.

Video tape Five and post it on Youtube

7. Cut a snow flake pattern in his cape

8. When he is asleep shave off half of his mustache

9. Color his hair blue

10. After 8 and 9 post photos of him all over the place

11. Challenge him to a Pazack game and mess with his cards so he looses


	16. Chapter 16

Darth Maul

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say it

Author: Darth Maul Step forward

Darth Maul……..(Maul holds Author's Doll collection over paper shredder and tosses in stuffed pig.

Author: Hamlet No!(Uses the force to retrieve the rest of collection including an Elmo Doll and a Luke skywalker action figure. ) Hamlet will be avenged I tell you Avenged

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Tell him when he was Born The doctor took one look at him and slapped his mother

Tell him Red and Black are so last millennium

Convince obi Wan to be a magician to help with the annual Jedi Temple talent show and have him saw Darth Maul in half

Laugh evilly when Obi Wan can't put him back together.

cut his horns off

Reprogram one of his probe droids to fallow him around non stop.

Replace his light saner with a flash light

Tattoo The Sith Suck and the Jedi Rule on his chest

Tell him his master is replacing him

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Author: Ok not my best work but I will not have to worry about him trying to kill me

Obi Wan: SwordmasterZ: Have you seen the key to the Box I need it to remove the Blades and finish this magic trick.

Author: No (Smirks and throws key to magic box out the Window.)

Obi Wan: (Turns to Maul Stuck in Box) looks like your stuck in there for a while

Author: Serves him Right

Obi Wan: Why do you have it in for him so much you did not beat on the other Sith with your pranks

Author: Hamlet must be avenged!

Obi Wan: You look like your ready to kill some one so I'm going to let the Shakespeare reference go.

A/N About the doll collection don't ask.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: Own nothing

Author: Ok I won't answersand I won't them now ! ( Sideus Maul and Dooku are currently hanging upside down from the sealing batman Interrogation Style )

Ddooku: In regards to what exactly?

Author: Somebody stole the chapter notes for my other stories and I want them back

Dooku: and yet you assume it was one of us

Author: Obi-wan talked to Commissioner Gorden Rachel Doss and Harvey Dent from Batman and they all said it was definitely someone from Star Wars.

Sideus: And you don't have the Jedi ooin here because?

Author: Batman said it was a Sith

Maul: Perfect so Vader and Mara are off the hook Because?

Author: Mara is not a sith and Anakin was with Luke and I getting Jar Jar's head out of the banister. The only Question is do I torture all of you or Just the one . Pulls ( Dents two headed coin out of pocket) Why not flip for it?

Maul and Sideus: It was Dooku

Author: I thought so You know what that means. Dooku your up

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Call him Saramon

Do the cut the magicians assistant in half trick again but do the version that cuts the person into thirds

Replace his all black wardrobe with an all white one.

Count off how many times Lorian Nord stabbed him in the back( A.N A carector from the book Legacy of the Jedi)

Give him a pink light saber

Tell him his master is replaceing him

Tell him Qui-Gon hated his guts

pay obi-wan to follow him around and tell him he sucked as a Jedi and he is even worse as a sith

Fill his closet with lord of the rings action figures

After doing 9 cut the heads off of all the saramen action figures.

Have him electrocuted.

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Anakin and Luke :come into the room

Anakin: we have good news and bad news

Auther: What is it

Luke: The good news is we found your missing story notes.

Anikan:The Bad news is you took your anger out on the wrong person as it turns out Jar Jar took them.

Author: If Dooku wakes up looks like I'll need to explain this. On second thought no I wont. Jar Jar you're so dead once I find the apropreat means of torture.

Luke: You see dad that is why you never mess with a writer . They are usually very calm but when angry they are more dangers then a crazy sith lord.

Author : Ignoring you


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Own nothing

Anakin Skywalker

Tell him Obi-wan has a new apprentice

If he asks who tell him one of the clones shows more potential than him

Tell him the Jedi Council added a new rule to the Jedi Code Banning Jedi from wearing Black or leather and as a result he has to throw out all his clothes

Tell him he needs to watch the Yunglings while Yoda is on vacation

Give him a pink lightSaber

Tell the counsel that Anakin is in a relationship with a member of the Senate

Tell him That his wife is pregnant with Obi-wan's Baby

When he gets mad tell him to take anger management classes

Tape him braking the rules then Blackmail him with it

Introduce him to his daughter's boyfriend

Anakin Slices through the dour with lightsaber

Run !


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Jar Jar Binks

Swordmasterz: Walks in and glares at the Gungan (Don't say anything!

Jar Jar: Gulps

Luke: (Looks Confused) What he do?

Anakin: Broke her Computer

Luke: He's Dead

1. Zap him with a stun gun every time he sticks his tong out

2. Go to a planet with a very dry Climate like Tatooine and leave him there

3. Tell the rebellion that it's his fault that the Emperor seized power in the first place.

4. Tell him his relatives are on the menu at the French Restraint Down the street.

5. Turn him into a paper weight and give him to Vader as a Birthday present

6. knock over several buildings when Jar Jar is around and when planet security shows up tell them Jar Jar tripped.

7. Constantly correct his Basic.

8. Tell him Dumbo called asking for his ears back.

9. Tell everyone he is afraid of the dark. When he denies it lock him in a room and cut the power.

10. Tell him he gives Padma's kids nightmares.

Luke and Lea: Hay

Swordmasterz: I'm not the one who claimed to be afraid of frog people

Luke: Maybe so but there is a snake write by your feet

SwordMasterz: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK ( Jumps on desk)

Luke : Read and Review


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